Stephen and I found out on September 27, 2010, that we had been blessed with a baby. Of course, that positive pregnancy test stirred up all kinds of emotions in these first-time parents. On Monday, October 11, we had our first doctor’s appointment. I had no idea what to expect, but I thought I had things figured out pretty well. When I was asked what hospital we would use and what pediatrician we would use, I started to cry, realizing that there was so much I don’t have a clue about! Yikes. But, then I reminded myself I still have some time to make these decisions. Whew!
At that appointment I thought we would just get to see a little spec on the screen that was our baby. However, as we looked closer at that “spec” we could see his/her tiny little heart beating. It looked like a small spot that was flashing black then white. We couldn’t stop smiling, it was too cool! Then the doctor worked very hard to pinpoint the sound, and we were even able to hear a couple beats every now and then. Suddenly, the fact that we are having a baby became so real!
Just after I found out I was pregnant, I came across a prayer I had written almost exactly a year ago. A year ago I wrote this, when we were NOT thinking about having kids. I had completely forgotten about it, but when I was searching for some material for my Sunday School class, I came across it. I know God brought me back to this prayer at this time for a reason (just read the second to last sentence). This was and still is my prayer for parenthood:
I have often wondered when the right time to have children would be. Please show me your timing. God, I pray that when I do have kids, I would be more concerned about them living a life that is pleasing to you than I am about their happiness, security, comfort, prosperity, education, success and any other thing I may ask you for. God, give me this heart for raising our children. Help me be a light that shines the Gospel and prepare me for parenthood. Lord, remind me of these desires when I become a parent. Please help me remain strong! Amen.”