I recently took about a month-long hiatus from blogging, which is really not a big deal considering I only blogged an average of once a month previously. However, I had great, big plans to blog more often in 2011, but the thoughts wouldn’t come.
January was just a weird/hard month. I don’t know if you have ever had one of those seasons where things just seemed “off.” That was my January. During this time God revealed/taught me some things about myself and my motives. They weren’t pretty. But sin never is.
God literally woke me up and made me “get real” with myself. I had become too comfortable with life, too self-centered. So, I took a step back and began to examine my motives for the things I do.
One of these was choir. I love, love, love being a part of every aspect of my man’s ministry. So, it has not been easy to decide to step back. I love being in choir, but realized my heart was far from being there for the right reasons. I caught myself complaining and criticizing at choir practice. My heart was far from being a “heart of worship.” So I decided to take a step back to refocus on the reason I sing and worship.
Stepping back and examining my heart is painfully hard but, oh, so worth it. I pray that God would continue to conform me to the likeness of his Son, no matter how difficult that process may be.