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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Bittersweet Decision

Last Thursday, I went to the school board office and turned in my resignation. I will not be returning to teach this fall. Thankfully, both my principal and superintendent were gracious and supportive. I have to admit it was a hard decision. It is hard to let people down.

Many of you had asked if I planned to return after maternity leave, and the truth was: I didn't. I am strongly convicted that a woman's first ministry is her home. And, contrary to what our feminist culture tells us, we cannot have it all.  Therefore, I did not plan to return after maternity leave.

So, this put me in a predicament of returning to work at the beginning of August, then leaving on maternity leave early to mid-October. I dreaded the thought of being secretive about my plans to take the rest of the year off, because I did not want to be dishonest. In addition, this would put my class without a teacher mid-year. I knew it would be much more difficult to find a good teacher to take my place mid-year than it would be during the summer.

So, after thinking and talking all of this through with Stephen, we decided it would be best for me to go ahead and resign.

I am excited to be able to be fully devoted to my husband, my baby, and my home. But, I am not naive. This decision will not be without sacrifice. Of course, we will have to sacrifice income, better health insurance, and some of our luxuries.  I am also aware that I will be sacrificing some "personal fulfillment" -  a year spent cleaning up puke and poop may not afford me the same sense of accomplishment that I felt from seeing students' test scores improve. But, I know experiencing the Lord's design for family will be well worth it.

Giving up a career for family is a bittersweet decision, but it is not a decision I second-guess. As I transition to full-time wife and mommy, I pray that the Lord would continuously remind me that His plans are better than any this world could offer.  I pray that I better understand the sweetness and beauty of the Gospel as I have the opportunity to lay down my own desires for those of my family. I pray that He reminds me to lay down my desires joyfully as my worship to Him. I pray that He teaches me much about Himself.

And, of course, I look forward to sharing my experiences and lessons learned with you!

9 comments:

  1. We have had to sacrifice over the years- but even on the hard days...it had been so worth it. I know you'll look back with no regrets. I believe being able to witness my kids growing and learning at each phase has been one of the greatest joys of my life. :)

    Look forward to following your adventures ahead.

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    1. Thank you, my sweet friend. I have no doubt that God has used people such as yourself, to prepare my heart in this. :)

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  2. A note from a working mom:

    While I respect the decision you have made for your family, let me present to you a different perspective. I entered the teaching profession not because it was an easy job or because it gave me free time in the summer; no, I entered that profession because I felt called to teaching. That is my ministry. Just because I work a full time job does not mean that my child and my husband are neglected. This post presumes that if you don't stay home after the baby you are not able to be a good wife and mother. I highly disagree with this. I have been there to witness every milestone my child accomplished-smiling, cooing, rolling over, crawling, walking, and everything else. I have been able to nurture his love for God and help him grow spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I am sure that you did not come to your decision lightly, but please realize neither did I. We can both raise our children, the way we feel God has called us to as their parents, even though we differ in what is best for our children.

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    1. Amanda,
      You are a beautiful, wonderful mother! Even if I had 52 hours in the day I doubt I could accomplish all that you do. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your heart with me. I highly recognize that I am in the minority in this decision and that my decision may offend others. This, of course, was not my intent in writing the post. I never assumed that women who do not stay home are not good wives and mothers. But, when I said "we cannot have it all" I refer to the fact that sacrifices must be made to be a working mother. I admire those who take on that sacrifice and still put their family at the top of their priority list. For me, I knew the temptation for my career to usurp my family was one I did not want to fight. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to share, I need to be reminded to better present my thoughts and opinions so as to encourage others instead of coming across as if I were attacking them.

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  3. It is a tough decision but one you will never regret! Drooly kisses upon request are immeasurable as personal fulfillment. The poop and spit up are just a bonus! So excited for you!

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    1. Thank you Maria. It means so much that I have support! Also, did I hear you may be homeschooling?

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  4. Girl, I turned in my resignation notice the week after I found out I was pregnant! ;) Haha... little did I know we'd be moving and I wouldn't be living there to teach in the fall anyway. I am excited about having the blessing to stay home and raise our child(ren). I'm glad you've decided to do the same! :)

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    1. Cassidy -

      I did not know that! I know it is a blessing and I pray I do not grow weary and I never take it for granted.

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  5. it is beautiful that you will be able to stay at home with your child. <3 i admire all mamas who stay at home. it is my dream. you are going to be an amazing mother, megan and i wish you all the best. <3
    xoxox
    maria

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