Monday, I went to my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) for a hysteroscopy. This is a procedure in which they use a scope to look for any abnormalities in the uterus.
The RE said everything looks "beautiful." He was looking for any abnormalities that could be to blame for my repeated miscarriages. But, everything was perfect. I was glad everything was normal. I did not fancy the idea of having a corrective surgery, should something been found to be wrong.
After the test, the RE talked to us about doing a progesterone test. He also said that nothing he has seen thus far has fully explained the lost pregnancies. This news illicited some strange feelings within me. I almost wanted something to be "wrong" so that I would have an answer. If something were wrong we could fix it, and know it was fixed.
But, I had to remind myself that God does't owe me answers. In fact, God owes me nothing, but I owe him faith, obedience, and praise. I owe him everything.
I am blessed to be healthy. I am grateful to be a daughter of the King. I know that His plan is all about bringing Him glory, whether I get "good enough" answers or not. I praise God for using my silly self for His glory.
Megan, I love reading your blog, its refreshing and encouraging. I know where you are coming from with just wanting an answer. That's how we are...were... I don't know. We still don't have answers but yet we have babies now with no explanation to how other than a miracle - so I don't know... Anyway, its like a balancing act, grateful there aren't problems, bummed there is nothing to "fix". Don't we always just want something to fix? I'm praying for you both. It's difficult waiting, but God has incredible things for you in the mean time and to come.
ReplyDeleteBrie, thank you for the comment and for the encouragement. It means alot that someone understands what we are experiencing. God bless you!
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