On Being Mommy

Recently, my life has been consumed with this thing called motherhood...And I haven't posted much about that because, well, to be honest, most of the time I think I am doing it wrong.

Seriously.

Am I weird?

Just this Sunday, in church, the sweet mom in front of me turned around and said, "Hows it going?  How's he doing?"

I looked down at my precious little boy who was, at the moment, a bit fussy and said, "Well, he's tired. Church is during morning nap time."

She smiled sweetly and said, "Yeah, Sundays are hard."

"Thank you," I said. When she looked at me, confused, I continued, "I am relieved to know its not just me or something I am doing wrong."

It seems that I am always second guessing myself. Is he tired? Or hungry? Should I give him the pacifier to sleep? Should I stop swaddling him? Do I lock myself in my house until we have a good nap routine established, or do I continue my life and tote my tot along? Or where is the balance between the two?

Basically, the only thing I am sure about is that I need to quit worrying.  I need to trust that God's grace is sufficient to cover my mommy mishaps. I need to stop, enjoy and be grateful for my son.

I need to pray more.

Just a week or so ago I got in touch with one of my mommy mentors about how she would proceed to lengthen Judes naps. (He basically takes 5-6 30 minute naps during the day instead of 2-3 longer naps.) And her first advice?  Pray.

And, I must admit, I am much quicker to consult the latest book, blog, or forum on a parenting issue than to pray that the Lord would give me wisdom.  Ouch.

That same mom also reminded me that our most importnat concern should be that we raise our children to love God. We shouldn't  put more effort into any other area of parenting. Nothing should concern us more. Breast or bottle? To vaccinate or not? Cry it out or soothe? Scheduled or unscheduled?  All these issues, though important, pale in comparison to teaching my child the beauty of the Gospel.

Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of the proper perspective.

Tonight, bedtime was a complete chaotic failure. But, I am reminding myself of what really matters. I am reminding myself of the lessons I have learned so far in my short time as a mom:

Enjoy and be thankful for my son.

Trust the Lord.

Teach the Gospel.

Pray.