Parenthood.

Stephen and I found out on September 27,  2010, that we had been blessed with a baby.  Of course, that positive pregnancy test stirred up all kinds of emotions in these first-time parents.  On Monday, October 11, we had our first doctor’s appointment. I had no idea what to expect, but I thought I had things figured out pretty well. When I was asked what hospital we would use and what pediatrician we would use, I started to cry, realizing that there was so much I don’t have a clue about! Yikes.  But, then I reminded myself I still have some time to make these decisions. Whew!

 At that appointment I thought we would just get to see a little spec on the screen that was our baby. However, as we looked closer at that “spec” we could see his/her tiny little heart beating. It looked like a small spot that was flashing black then white.  We couldn’t stop smiling, it was too cool! Then the doctor worked very hard to pinpoint the sound, and we were even able to hear a couple beats every now and then.  Suddenly, the fact that we are having a baby became so real!

 Just after I found out I was pregnant, I came across a prayer I had written almost exactly a year ago. A year ago I wrote this, when we were NOT thinking about having kids. I had completely forgotten about it, but when I was searching for some material for my Sunday School class, I came across it.  I know God brought me back to this prayer at this time for a reason (just read the second to last sentence). This was and still is my prayer for parenthood:

“Dear God,

I have often wondered when the right time to have children would be. Please show me your timing. God, I pray that when I do have kids, I would be more concerned about them living a life that is pleasing to you than I am about their happiness, security, comfort, prosperity, education, success and any other thing I may ask you for. God, give me this heart for raising our children. Help me be a light that shines the Gospel and prepare me for parenthood. Lord, remind me of these desires when I become a parent. Please help me remain strong! Amen.”

Waiting.

Waiting. This is the ministry tool I have needed and practiced the most. Waiting does not come easily for me; I admit to being an impatient waiter. It is difficult when you want something so badly for the sake of the Kingdom, yet you have to wait, and wait, and wait. Waiting is not, and has never been my forte'. Yet, God continues to place me in seasons of waiting. There are many things I wait on at this particular moment. Most of them I am not at liberty to be specific about, which adds a heavy burden with my wait since I am, by nature, a talker!

There are so many things I wait to see happen in our church and ministry. I have prayed and prayed and still pray for an increase in spiritual growth, Biblical literacy, and love for Jesus. While God has moved in amazing ways in the past six months, I am not content. I want more of God. I want our church to want more of God. I yearn for the Holy Spirit to consume us. I desperately want to be at the point where that desire consumes me. I beg God to rip out of my life and our church the things that are not of Him. I beg him to make us sick with the desire to draw near to Him. I beg him to use FBCV to bring more glory to himself.

In these periods of waiting, I think of the first believers right after Jesus' ascension and before Pentecost. Acts reads, "Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a Sabbath day’s journey away. And when they had entered, they went up to the upper room, where they were staying, Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot and Judas the son of James. All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers." Acts 1:12-14. These believers had just seen Jesus ascend to heaven and had entered into a period of waiting. They were waiting on the coming of the Holy Spirit. I can't imagine the emotions they must have felt while in that upper room. I can only imagine the agony, despair, confusion and anticipation that was expressed as they poured out their hearts in prayer!

So, I am waiting. And praying. Waiting on God to MOVE as He sees fit. Waiting on others to see the will of God. Waiting to see His will for the future. Waiting. Praying.

 I know God keeps His promises and that he is Sovereign, yet I still find waiting difficult. I know there is much to learn during this season of waiting. I am learning to trust His timing. So, I wait.

Finally!

Starting a blog has always been on my to-do list. So, finally, I have embarked upon that journey. There is so much that God has done in my life over the past few years, and many times I forget to share these things with friends and family. Often, God fills my heart up with thoughts and I feel strongly compelled to write about the things he shows me in His word and in the experience of my daily life. My hope is that this will be nothing more than a place where I share what God is doing in Stephen's and my life and a place where God gets all the glory.

I am the wife of a minister, and I believe there is nothing better. I knew before I met my husband that God was calling me to be a minister's wife. I actually dreamed of it in high school! I met my man on November 8, 2002, when we were Juniors in high school. His call to ministry was one of the first things we discussed, and I remember thinking about marriage even then! We married on August 4, 2006, while in college at the Baptist College of Florida. In May of 2009, God called us to First Baptist Church of Vidalia, for Stephen to take his first full-time ministry position as the Associate Pastor of Worship and Creative Ministries. Currently, I work as a sixth grade math teacher, but I look forward to the day I can be a full-time ministry wife and mother. :)

I am excited about the journey that God has ahead of us, and I can't wait to share with you every bit of it!