The Ministry of Exhortation

There is a reason the scriptures tell us to edify and exhort one another. We can make a difference in someone’s life simply by verbally affirming them.  I recently conducted a little experiment with my students that gives evidence of this.

I teach 6 classes of 6^th grade math each day. Of course, I have one class that is “my best” class. These kids work so hard for me. They have the best grades and they want to do well. I began to wonder why this class as a whole was better than the rest. Naturally, some of the kids are “the smart ones,” but even the trouble makers in that class did their work, put forth effort, and made decent grades.  I realized that because they were excelling, I was constantly giving them positive feedback and encouragement. I told them how smart they were and how proud I was of them.  In my other classes, I did not say these things as much, and sometimes got frustrated when they did not “get it” for the umpteenth time.

So, I decided to experiment. I began offering encouragement to my “lowest performing” class, and really meaning it. I had to find smaller victories to commend, but I made a big deal out of them, individually and as a class. After a couple of weeks of this, the strangest thing happened. More kids began bringing their homework, and they started paying attention in class.  Now, they have not caught up with my “best class,” but they have surpassed the other classes with their effort!  I couldn’t believe that I had not realized how my different relationship with each class affected my students’ “want to.”

So, what it is the significance of this experiment? Think about all the people in your life that you could exhort! Wives, instead of nagging our husband maybe we could exhort him to empower him to become more Godly. Parents, maybe our kids need a little more exhorting and celebration of the small victories that may seem very big to them. Or, perhaps you have a friend that is trying to kick an addiction, who could use a word of exhortation spoken into their life. Surely, we all could minister to someone by encouraging them.

We can learn a thing or two from the Apostle Paul. He often included words of exhortation in his letters.  He knew exhortation is a powerful thing! Encouragement builds people up, just as a sharp criticism can tear a person down.

Please, allow me to interject few disclaimers here: First, it must be authentic and personal. Just saying any old thing because you want to encourage someone does NOT work. It must be authentic. Inauthentic encouragement is very often translated as pity, which usually only further hinders a person. Also, I am NOT referring to shallow compliments. Girls, sometimes we confuse “I love your hair” or “I love that outfit” with exhortation. True exhortation is  really knowing someone and speaking a word of encouragement that is specific to them.  Second, it is hard. For those of you who are like me and tend to see the glass half empty, this is real work. I have to prepare my heart each morning to be ready to encourage/exhort some of the kids I teach, and I am FAR from having this thing all figured out.  Third, we still call sin, sin. Exhortation and encouragement does not mean we turn a blind eye to sin, for fear of discouraging someone. We should still "see sin as God sees sin" (to steal a phrase from Fred Luter).

So who can you exhort/encourage? Maybe, like me, you need to spend some time in prayer asking God to help you in this area. I believe there is someone in your life who needs a little encouragement; I encourage you to extend the grace of God to them through an authentic, personal word of exhortation.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Biggest Insecurity

I can’t sing, and I am married to a worship pastor.  While it is easy to say that a music minister’s wife is not expected to be “musical,” the zillions of times I have been asked, “Do you sing?” or “Do you play the piano?” reveal that there is at least a small expectation that I, as the wife of “the music guy,” must also have a talent for making melody. But, I don’t. And this is my biggest insecurity.

Now, you may be thinking, don’t you sing in the choir? You are correct, but believe me if it were an auditioned group I would be the first to be “cut.” I only sometimes hit correct notes and I sing a little of every part. Don’t believe me? Well, just ask the poor souls who have to sit by me each week.

Sarcastic joking aside, this is an area of insecurity and envy that I have fought for a long while. Even though I am not musically talented, I love music. I love to sing. But, no matter how hard I try, I am just not good at it. I took guitar for a semester in college. I just couldn’t get it.  Even as a little girl, I remember my mom trying to teach me a few things on the piano, but it never clicked.

When we were first married, I said things to Stephen like, “I bet you which you had a wife that you could sing duets with.” He looked at me like I had three heads, as if that idea never crossed his mind. But, the enemy sure had me convinced otherwise.

All of this insecurity reached a peak a few months ago when I got “that question” once again.  A well-meaning individual approached me after church and asked, “When are you and Stephen going to sing a special together?” As I am used to doing, I smiled and told her I didn’t sing very well.  But she continued, “Oh I bet you do! I really want to see you two sing together.” Once again, I tried to convince her that I was not blessed with that gift. She would not let up. Stephen had walked up during this discussion, so she turned to him and said, “I bet she sings beautifully, doesn’t she?”  I felt the blood rush to my face and my eyes start to burn with tears.  Stephen paused awkwardly for a moment, and I think the woman realized her mistake.  He responded, “My wife sings from her heart.”

I went home and cried. I listened to the enemy tell me I wasn’t good enough and that I was an embarrassment to my husband. I vented a lot of anger towards God, asking things like, “Why did you make me this way?”, or “Why can’t I sing like so-and-so?”  I pleaded with God to just give me some sort of musical talent, and I promised that if he did I would use it to bring him glory!

God really used the story of Moses to grow me out of this funk.  When God spoke to Moses at the burning bush, Moses offered up a list of excuses why he couldn’t do the task. Moses’ last excuse was, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue." Moses was telling God that there was something wrong with the way he talked, much as I had complained about my singing.  God responded, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?” 

I was humbled. I realized that my attitude was totally sinful. I was saying that God did not know what he was doing creating me the way I am. Repentance was in order. So I confessed my sinful attitude and asked God to transform my mind in this matter.

God revealed to me that our singing is less about how we sound and more about who HE is. I know now that God is not concerned with how our sacrifices appear to men, but is concerned with the condition of our heart when we give our offering. I know now that my husband never had a duet-partner on his “What I want in a Wife List.” I know now that God has a place and a plan for me, and my voice!

So, here I am, saying so-long to this insecurity. I will sing anyway. My security is not in what my voice sounds like; my security is in the Grace, Mercy and Awesomeness of our God. HE is the reason that I sing.

Blessed by Special People

God has more than blessed us with so many friends here in Vidalia. We have grown to love and care for so many families. It is not easy living so far from our loved ones, but those of you who treat us like family make the burden a bit easier to bear.  If you have ever shared or provided a meal for us, bought us a gift for a birthday or Christmas, or even just spent time with us (think Dominoes, Settlers, or Quelf), please know that you have been an immense blessing to us. 

Making and keeping close friends is not something at which I am skilled. Several experiences have “taught” me to keep my heart guarded. However, it is something I am trying, with God’s help, to improve.  I know that relationships are important to God, and they can be the framework for spectacular ministry. Lord, please help me be a better friend!

I just wanted to take a moment to share about some of these special people. I know none of them want the “spotlight” but I am so overwhelmingly grateful that I had to write about a few of them.

The Knapps  - Where to begin? Settlers, awesome meals, trip to Texas, hauling our IKEA office furniture, hunting, and hand-me-downs are all so appreciated!  Una, I will never forget that conversation we had in the church office when you encouraged me to pursue teaching. I needed it! Thanks so much for all the love you have showed “Stephen Powell” and me!

The Randalls-  We love y’all dearly. Thanks for gumbo, fried fish, fun times at the lake and sharing your Christmas “family time” with us.  Kassi, you are my little sister away from my sisters and I am so thankful for you.  I am going to miss you so much next year.

The Welchs – Your generosity has never ceased to amaze me! Whether it was taking Stephen hunting, inviting us over for delicious food, or letting me use the workout room, you have shown us so much love. Thanks for all you have done for us; you are one very special family. Taylor, we are so proud of you and love you so much! We will miss you next year.

God has recently brought a new “group” of people into our lives. These are some folks that have just recently began attending our church. These people have been like a fresh breath of air to our ministry, and we have loved getting to know them.

Teressa Renolds – Teresa I love your heart for worship. I know this a direct result of your love for Jesus. I admire you for unashamedly worshiping God. Also, you have a mighty, mighty gift of encouragement. People like you are so appreciated by ministers and their wives.  Thank you.

Alethia Lawrence – Girl, you rock. Thank you for the invites to your house for get-togethers (we still have to have a firework party).  I am inspired by you.  You remain positive, and devoted to the Lord despite the many recent trials you have faced. Your friendship means so much to me.

The Pettys– Ok, the list could go on and on, but, in short, thank you for caring about us.  I am overwhelmed at your generosity. Encouragement, afternoon chats, meal, music, hunting, Zumba, guitar, prayer, and love. Thanks!

And this, my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg. I could have wrote on and on about the people who have touched our lives. We are so blessed to be a part of FBCVidalia. We love all of you so much!

Stepping Back

I recently took about a month-long hiatus from blogging, which is really not a big deal considering I only blogged an average of once a month previously. However, I had great, big plans to blog more often in 2011, but the thoughts wouldn’t come.

January was just a weird/hard month. I don’t know if you have ever had one of those seasons where things just seemed “off.” That was my January. During this time God revealed/taught me some things about myself and my motives. They weren’t pretty. But sin never is.

God literally woke me up and made me “get real” with myself.  I had become too comfortable with life, too self-centered. So, I took a step back and began to examine my motives for the things I do.

One of these was choir. I love, love, love being a part of every aspect of my man’s ministry. So, it has not been easy to decide to step back. I love being in choir, but realized my heart was far from being there for the right reasons. I caught myself complaining and criticizing at choir practice. My heart was far from being a “heart of worship.”  So I decided to take a step back to refocus on the reason I sing and worship.

Stepping back and examining my heart is painfully hard but, oh, so worth it. I pray that God would continue to conform me to the likeness of his Son, no matter how difficult that process may be.

Where is the Family?

Recently, my husband came for a classroom visit. After he left, one of my students asked, “Mrs. Powell, how long have you been married?” 

“Four years.” I responded.

“Do you got kids?”

“Not yet.”

“How many step-kids you got?”

My heart stopped as I realized the assumption that came with this question. As I looked at this sixth grader, I could have cried. Today’s views of marriage and family have become so perverted that this sixth grader believed that if I were married, I must have step-kids.  Wow.

Today, I read an article posted by Voddie Baucham Ministries entitled “Nobody Gets Married Anymore Mister.” This article, wrote by an English teacher, speaks to the breakdown of marriage and family.  It is lengthy, but I encourage you to read it: http://www.rightsidenews.com/2011013112709/life-and-science/culture-wars/nobody-gets-married-any-more-mister.html

So much of what was said in this article resonated with me.  I see Junior High School students who are also parents. I have children in my classes who don’t know their father.  I have children whose last names have “changed” twice since August. I see heartbreaking situations everyday. 

I wonder, "How can I teach these products of broken homes?" I know these kids are smart and have the ability to learn. They try so hard to do what I ask. But, many times they just can't; Their heads are filled with so much drama that solving two-step equations just goes in one ear and out the other.

I am by no means a huge advocate for public schools. In fact, my husband and I have considered homeschooling our kids. However, I can’t help but think that all the federal and state funding, all the push for academic success, is misdirected. I wish we were so dedicated in preserving and promoting marriage and family.  And, I don't think this is the job of the government, I believe it is the job of the Church. 

I desperately hope that we, the Church, will recognize this need and boldly teach the importance and permanence of marriage and family.  

Looking Forward.

The norm this time of year may be to blog “reflections” of 2010, to talk about all the neat things we said, did, and witnessed in the past year. But, I am honestly so excited about the things God will do in 2011 that, today, I just want share some of those with you.

iMiTATORS. http://www.fbcvidalia.com/#/ministries/imitators  This is the High School drama team at our church. My heart swells with love for these teens; they are amazing, talented and fun to work with. I am excited about the opportunities that await this team as they minister both in our church and in other churches.  We begin practicing the second Sunday in January, and will incorporate some new members at that time.  Several of the team members are seniors and I am sad to see them move on, but excited to see them mature into God-honoring adults. I pray that the team will first and foremost grow in discipleship and love for God and one another. I pray that this group would live by their convictions and not bend them. I pray that God will open wide doors for them to share the good news of Christ through drama.

Honduras. Words cannot even begin to express the emotions that are conjured up when I think of this! For those of you who don’t know, Stephen and I have been on several mission trips to this country. Honduras and the people there have an enormously special place in my heart. 

Oscar and me. 2006.

Sharing the Evangecube at a school. 2008.

Stuffing a "Jesus Bear." 2008.

Every child in this school got a new pair of shoes. 2010.

Stephen sharing bubbles. 2008.

I remember in April of 2009, when we came to FBC Vidalia in view of a call, sharing about our trips to Honduras. I felt God say that one reason he was bringing us to FBC Vidalia was to organize an international mission trip. I did not assume that we would get to go to Honduras, but secretly hoped so. However, I am thrilled that Pastor Tommy Johnson and the International Mission Builders would work with us to allow us this opportunity. Our team of 16 will spend July 30th - August 5th sharing Christ in Honduras. God has already shown himself in our planning of this trip! From an overwhelming response from interested church members to anonymous donors, God has confirmed that he is in this thing! I ask that you would continue to pray for financial obligations to be met. I also ask that you would pray that God would lead two more men to take this trip with us!

Marriage.  In 2011, Stephen and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage. Wow. Time has flown by; I still feel like a newlywed. J 

It is exciting to think of all the things God has done with us and through us in the past five years.  We married young, in college. We knew from the day we met that God’s calling on our lives would mean giving up some of our personal dreams. However, we have never looked back.  I pray that God would give me the ability to be a better wife in 2011. I want to be a better helpmate that willingly puts my husband’s needs above my own.  I pray that the Holy Spirit would empower me to grow in lovingness, submissiveness, and humbleness.

There are so many other things I look forward to in 2011: running the Austin Half Marathon, my second year of teaching, conceiving a baby, and all the unexpected things God will do. There is no doubt that God is going to do great things. I am eager to be grown and used by him in 2011.

Tough Question

There are some questions that are just tough. And, before you continue reading, let me preface by saying this may be difficult to read for some of you. If you read this and think I sound heartless or heretical, please talk to me privately and I would love to share more in-depth about my thoughts.

Where do infants go when they die? 

What a difficult question this is, and one I had not really wrestled with until experiencing a miscarriage. I wasn't experiencing anguish or anxiety over this question, but it has always been just one of those gray areas in my theology. I always try to remind myself that my theological convictions cannot be defined by what "feels" or "seems" right. So, naturally, I did some research (and still need to do more).  But, I must be honest, I really did not come to a concrete conclusion. I also came across some blogs on the topic. As one said, "Can God save them? I believe He can. Does He? I will not answer that for Him."  However, it was another comment I read that quite literally gave me goosebumps and brought me to tears at the same time. This commenter very eloquently put into words the conclusion (or lack of one) I reached. He said:

"There is little that brings me more joy than thinking of my first child worshiping the risen Christ in heaven. On the other side, there is little that brings me more anguish than thinking of the other alternative........... I do not have a certain answer to the question. I still have not landed on any answer with any certainty. 

What I am certain of, though, is God's ultimate goodness. While I do not understand the particular purpose for the particular death of my child, I do know/trust/believe that God's design is perfect and that Christ will be magnified through it. So, I rejoice that the death of my child was designed to bring about the display of the [Glory] of God. As I stated in the beginning, there is little that brings me more joy than thinking of my first child worshipping the risen Christ in heaven. The one thing that does bring me more joy is the display of the [Glory] of God. "

So, I believe that no matter what the answer may be to this tough question, God is good and will bring Glory to Himself through it. 

And what else really matters?